(no subject)

[extemporally]

So yeats and I discussed this whole ridic storyline about Johnny Weir: Single Father. He ruthlessly tamps down on his romantic life to care for his daughter (whom we have called Lila), and is the best father ever! She needs a skating coach! Enter Stéphane Lambiel.

... so anyway, copy and pasted from an email I sent her once:

1. She cries really easily. One night, Stéphane goes back home with the both of them. Johnny makes dinner, and they watch Finding Nemo. Lila starts crying, and Stéphane sniffles along sympathetically. Johnny ferries tissues to them and laughs a little bit. Lila scowls and smacks Johnny's shoulder, until a sad scene starts up again and the waterworks do too.

2. She wants a dog. No, actually, she wants a pony. But apparently ponies aren't very feasible in New York City.

"I want a dog," she says, and Johnny replies absent-mindedly, "Honey, you're not ready for that commitment yet."

"When will I be ready?"

"When do you think?"

Lila thinks about it seriously and tries not to be overly optimistic. "Next week?"

"No," Johnny says. "Maybe when you're 18."

That's not an answer and Lila knows it.

3. "You had a pony when you were a kid," Lila says. She's seen the pictures.

"Yeah," Johnny says. "Then I had to give her up for skating. I'd rather you not have to make that decision."

"What did you call her?" Lila asks, even though she already knows.

"My Blue Shadow," johnny says.

"That's a stupid name," Lila says. "I'd call my pony Esmeralda. Can I have a pony?"

"A pony isn't a dog."

"Can I have a dog, then?"

"No."

4. "Why do you want a pony anyway?" Johnny asks. "You already have me."

Lila thinks he's probably kidding, because everyone knows that's not the same. What if he isn't? Okay, better not laugh. "That's different, Daddy."

"You have Stéphane, too," Johnny points out grudgingly. "And, um, Uncle Paris and Grandma and lots of other people."

"Ponies aren't the same as people."

5. Eventually Stéphane gets her a tortoise.

---

yeats: OMG A TORTOISE. WHAT DOES SHE NAME IT?
unlurkster: I HAVE NO IDEA YOU SHOULD SUGGEST SOMETHING.
yeats: my blue shadow. sometimes, johnny thinks his daughter is a bit of a bitch.

Ahahahaha oh god our brains. I NEVER USED TO HAVE A THING FOR KIDFIC (or domestic fic. Or cross-dressing. Or future fic. Or... /o\) but this fandom seems determined to prove me wrong.

Comments

[aurora]

Eventually Stéphane gets her a tortoise.
♥_♥

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

I don't know why I find the idea of tortoises so hilarious! Lila's like, "That's not a REAL pet" and then it moves and pulls its head in and Johnny can see the hearts in her eyes.

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

Awwww. ♥ That's adorable.

(I never had a thing for kidfic either! This fandom is crazy).

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

This is the craziest fandom ever. I just want all the stories about kids and curtains and whatever and sometimes I look up and make a 'wtf' face at myself. WTF SELF.

[hapakitsune.livejournal.com]

For whatever reason, I just really want a thousand stories about Johnny being an overly competent parent. RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS!

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

We have decided that he's so awesome it's UNBEARABLE. Lila brings sushi to school and it never goes bad! Johnny has put a COOLER PACK in her lunchbox. He thinks of everything basically.

[hapakitsune.livejournal.com]

I'm still waiting for Elena to co-write Evan desperately begging Johnny for help raise his kid. "JOHNNY CALEB'S SICK AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."

(I really don't know why I always type dialogue for Johnny and Evan in all caps.)

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA OH GOD. Evan would be the most clueless and well-meaning father ever. I bet he has Fatherly Rituals.

(That is the nature of their dynamic. ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME.)

[hapakitsune.livejournal.com]

He, like, tries to pump up Caleb before his big days at school. "YOU CAN DO IT YOU CAN GIVE 110%!!"

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

GET ONLINE WOMAN.

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

But why not Evan?

I'm sorry. I'm so one-track about this but EVAN EVAN EVAN.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Because STEPHANE. STEPHANE STEPHANE STEPHANE.

I am equally one-track, ahhh, you should not apologise! I have become a rabid OTP-er oh my god. SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THEM.

[katienyc.livejournal.com]

A tortoise! That she names My Blue Shadow! AMAZING.

There is nothing better than the idea of Johnny Weir: Single Father. NOTHING. So many hearts in my eyes.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Johnny is the best father ever. He has the T-shirt (gifted by Stephane) to prove it.

ALSO I LOVE YOUR ICON. Stephane. Ahhhhhh!

[katienyc.livejournal.com]

Of course Stephane would buy Johnny a World's Best Father T-shirt! Love it.

It is my all time favorite Stephane picture and if I could carry it around with me all the time I would. (only slightly joking!)

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

This is my favourite picture.


... I am only slightly joking too. Also, this series. And this. Oh my god, Lambiel. How so devastatingly attractive?

[(Anonymous)]

Hey there - where's this pic from? Lmk! Loving it!

[katienyc.livejournal.com]

Aren't they adorable? I didn't make the icon, but I think the picture is from a press conference for a show. I have the full size picture and it says 2006 DOI on it. (here and here)

[goshemily.livejournal.com]

This officially made my day.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

♥ I am glad! ALSO IF YOUR DAY NEEDED TO BE MADE SOME MORE there is this. Can't stop staring, oh my god. /o\

[yeats.livejournal.com]

oh god, lila. lila and her father, aka the most competent dad in the world! he is a fashion designer AND YET he ferries his daughter back and forth from school to ballet lessons to skating without even batting an eye. her father, who has not gone out on a date since she was born! he gave up sex for his skating career, and lila is about a thousand times better than any medal he could have ever won.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

YES I KNOW. Oh god, I keep thinking about the thing you said about them in the library -- "Daddy you're my best friend, okay", and my heart melts a little bit every time. Rivulets of goo at the bottom of my ribcage, is what I'm saying. ♥

(I bet Lila makes a kite and tries to fly it indoors. She ends up breaking Johnny's matryoshka dolls.)

[yeats.livejournal.com]

johnny is remarkably unfazed by the amount of chaos and destruction wrought by a small child. she gets a talking to, and then together they clean up the living room, but in the end, they're just dolls. and maybe it was a little cruel of johnny to keep her from flying her kite outdoors.

"you're spoiling her," paris says.

"are you NOT the uncle paris who bought her a matched luggage set?" johnny is slicing carrots for dinner.

"bitch, please," paris sighs. "she's your daughter. you know she's not going to pack light."

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Oh man, yesss. And Johnny makes a kite with her too, since her kite was essentially just a diamond-shaped piece of paper stapled to some string. Lila was really disappointed that it didn't fly. She ran really fast, okay?

Also yyyy to the luggage. Because Lila doesn't pack light, that is true. On the other hand, her definition of "packing" isn't the same as her daddy's yet. Johnny packs outfits. He tries to visualise and cover every eventuality. He's become less neurotic about it over the years, but this is his packing philosophy.

Lila's packing philosophy, on the other hand, consists of "what if there's a volcano and a flood and we have to raft down the river and live in a forest and we'll need some things forever and also I'll miss them". Whenever she goes on an overnight trip, she brings a heart-shaped plastic case full of glitter, her five favourite books, her teddy bear, and a giant paper clip. Johnny decides not to argue after a little while.

[the-spin.livejournal.com]

My thoughts right now are all pretty heart-shaped.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

<333

They love each other so much. Johnny is the best father ever! Ever!!!

[nova33.livejournal.com]

STILL AS ADORABLE AS THE FIRST TIME I READ IT.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

I OWE YOU AN EMAIL AND STUFF, WILL GET ON IT. Hi! ♥

[nova33.livejournal.com]

HI, YOU! I LOOK FORWARD TO IT. ♥ ♥ ♥

[shantalanadevil.livejournal.com]

My feelings while I was reading could be best described by this:

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Oh my god Stephane with babies. I love these videos too. THEY'VE BOTH COACHED CHILDREN LOOK. IT'S A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.

[athenejen]

This is so insanely adorable!

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Johnny with kids. It just makes my face go like this :DDDD all the time.

[(Anonymous)]

OOooo so cute and so moreish...
Have to say though that my JW shaped heart got a little crinkled when he signed up for the Miss USA thing. I was so disappointed that he would support an air-head-in-bikini-diet-pill-popping promotion. I thought he wasn't into promoting stereotypes - especially unhealthy ones - and this is about as bad as it gets. Especially when last year's winner was massively anti gay marriage. Definitely still crinkled. What WAS he thinking?

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Hm, okay -- I can see where you're coming from. I don't have many opinions on his participation in the pageant, because it absolutely seems like the kind of thing he would do. He has a penchant for fashion and glitterati -- and so for better or for worse, I wasn't surprised, I guess. In my opinion, I have way more issues with other things he's done -- but I am still fannish about him, because there are still qualities I enjoy about him. I get that the threshold is different for everyone, though, and I'm sorry you're disappointed in him.

Although if you could refrain from calling the Miss USA pageant an air-head-in-bikini-diet-pill-popping promotion in this journal, I'd really appreciate that. I get that Miss USA (and other beauty pageants) is a problematic setup, but I'm done with female-loathing.

[(Anonymous)]

Your comments are justified and no ill-intent meant. Your journal is terrific and you are very talented.

From my perspective, the problem with beauty pageants is that they only promote one "brand" of the notion of beauty. Not just in the US, but in several other countries as well. If there were lots of women there with lots of different looks and from lots of different cultural backgrounds, matters would be slightly different. The fact is that winners are all of a "type" physically, and for a lot of them, that aesthetic is acheived by pretty unhealthy means. More than one or two ex-pageanter has gone on develop eating disorders, and this isn't really a great look to be exposing younger kids to. When interviewed about current affairs (something all pageanters are supposed to be informed about), the answers given are often ill-informed. Last year some were just offensive.

Very much still a Weir fan, just wishing this particular decision hadn't been one he made.

And very much still a fan of your excellent journal. Keep up the good work!