I'm not saying it was your fault, although you could've done more...

[extemporally]

I love all strange_bt_trues because she lets me email her random things like this:

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL DAY. What if Brendon had an Internet friend, huh? In this AU they're all Normal People and maybe Brendon met him (this Internet friend is, idk, Shane or something) on Craigslist or someplace equally dodgy - like, they'd considered rooming together but it didn't work out but they still found each other pretty cool and continued talking, so.

And because in all possible universes Ryan Ross thinks the Internet = creepy place with porn, paedophiles and other creepy people (conveniently ignoring, and also ultimately shaped by the fact that he used to post camwhore pictures of himself onto livejournal communities, because that canon ALSO happened in all possible universes) every time Brendon goes, "My internet friend has a new dog!" and "My internet friend is a photographer!" (PHOTOGRAPHERS = POTENTIAL CREEPY, Ryan's mind goes, and Jon goes, "Hey!") Ryan draws his eyebrows together and goes to sulk/worry in a corner about how Brendon's being taken advantage of. Because, I mean, look at Brendon - if anyone were to be cheated over the Internet it'd be him, right?

Until the day when Brendon goes, "My internet friend is getting married, and he thinks we should meet up at the wedding! :DDD" (Brendon knows his name is Shane, but My Internet Friend is what he calls Shane in front of others - like, well, it's not like the rest actually know him, right? Maybe they'd forget his name!) and then Ryan's brain goes MARRIED WHAT (like, that's not the excuse most Internet predators use to lure out their catch, right?) and ding ding ding MEETUP DANGER simultaneously and his confusion actually shows on his face for once (oh Ryan Ross, you expressionless dork, I love you) and Brendon's all, "what?!"

Ryan says, "Just, married?"

Brendon says, "Well, yeah, I told you about his girlfriend, didn't I? Her name's Regan and, uh, they're in love with each other. Which is why they're getting married."

(Ryan obviously hadn't been listening, duh. He gets so indignant every time Brendon natters on about his Internet friend - like, Brendon, this guy is out to get you! sexually! - that he's kind of adopted ostrich syndrome when it comes to Brendon talking about Shane, which he is aware isn't really a healthy way of dealing with the whole situation where Brendon might get kidnapped one day, but.)

Ryan colours and says, "Um, okay." Then he says, "I thought this was a sex thing." because hey, he totally thought it was. He doesn't really see the appeal in it, but people on the Internet is weird.

THEN Brendon gets pissed off, because hey he has a totally huge crush on Ryan and how could he not know? (He'd always thought Ryan knew and was ignoring it, or whatever.) And then he thinks, o shit, what if Shane really does think it's a sex thing? Never mind that he can count the number of times they've talked about sex on one hand, and it's always in the context of, "Oh, me and my girlfriend...", not "How'd you like it, baby?"

SO ANYWAY lots of stomping around and yelling and boys being awkward and oblivious (Ryan Ross being awkward and oblivious) and Shane and Regan's wedding! And then Ryan and Brendon get together and have sex, and not over the Internet. \o/

... Yeah, so anyway. /o\ Oops?

Comments

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, this is the most adorable thing in the world. *__*

I really want Ryan to escort Brendon to Shane and Regan's wedding because IT MIGHT ALL BE A FRONT and STRANGER DANGER and things, and then hover over Brendon's shoulder scowling the whole time because you never know. Maybe Shane is just busy repressing any gay tendencies! He might want to have a weird fling with Brendon! Brendon deserves better than that!

Ryan's just saying, if he took Brendon out on a date, he would be totally classy about it.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

He would totally dress well and pull Brendon's chair out for him and be Protective! ... Then he thinks, no wait, THIS IS NOT A DATE. He is here for strictly security purposes only. Ryan Ross: security guard. He can pull this off, stop snickering, Spencer.

And anyway what is up with Regan? Why is she letting her new husband wander over to Brendon like that? Or are they even really married? This could be a fake marriage. One arranged expressly for the purpose of duping Brendon.

(Although this fake-wedding is really quite nice, Ryan must grudgingly admit. It's exactly the kind of wedding he would want if he and Brendon -- WAIT NO CANNOT GO THERE.)

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

And turn up to pick Brendon up with, like, a flower for Brendon's collar and be all "URRR I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED ONE IDK *SCUFFLE SCUFFLE SCUFFLE*" and totally ignore Brendon beaming at him because he is busy staring at his shiny polished shoe instead. (It is pointy. Ryan likes it a lot.)

Ryan is highly suspicious of this whole organisation. He texts Spencer under the table and asks him to Google fake marriages for sake of creepy internet sex but judging by the copious use of "ahaha" in Spencer's reply, he's not going to do it, and also Jon is around getting Spencer high again anyway.

(Now excuse me while I go and have dorky fantasies about Ryan having dorky fantasies about marrying Brendon.)

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Brendon totally catches the bridal bouquet, doesn't he? And Regan's beaming and winking and making go on, then gestures with her chin at Ryan, while Brendon goes pink and one of the twelve year old flower girls looks at him hopefully.

And Ryan steers him away, thinks nonono, they've gotten through this (oh, all right, it's probably real) wedding without Brendon getting kidnapped and so on, he's not going to let a flower girl get them down.

Also, *_________* I'm imagining Ryan's wedding outfit now. It's a summery, outdoor-sy wedding, but he's still wearing too many scarves. And pointy shoes. Of course.

(Spencer'd snarked about how he didn't seem to be dressed very threateningly before they left, but obviously he doesn't get it. Dressing like this is all part of Ryan's plan to fit in.)

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

Yessss. Maybe the flower girls are just a cunning plan to lure Brendon into a life of sexual slavery. (They will lure him down to the basement, where Shane will be waiting and cackling in grotty light and pixelated images.) Ryan cannot be too careful.

So he steers Brendon away and suggests that they have some cake instead, and tries to ignore the way Brendon says, "I'm not allowed to give the bouquet to the little girl?" and then, reaching for a paper plate, "Here, hold this," and thrusting the flowers into Ryan's face.

Ryan takes it because otherwise Brendon will have no free hands for cake, obviously. He ignores the way Brendon is smiling at him. Even if it does sort of make his heart all jumpy.

And yesssss again! He has not been planning this day since he was six, Spencer is a dirty rotten liar.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

♥_♥ I do like this, a lot. Ryan blushes so much Brendon looks concerned and says, "Are you okay?" and Ryan, Ryan has to stutter out an excuse about possible heatstroke and only feels a tiny bit bad about the really worried way Brendon steers him in and calls for cold water and suggests they go to a hospital.

But not really, because all of Brendon's attention is on him! It does funny things to Ryan's insides when he does that, and Brendon's lifting a hand to his forehead and saying, "Are you sure, I told you not to wear a scarf and a blazer," and he's removing said items from Ryan's body. It's kind of overwhelming, so Ryan just closes his eyes a little. He's not lying, anyway. At this point he does feel a little bit faint.

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

I am sitting here on the couch with frankkincense and we both have little hearts in our eyes, I am pretty sure. :D

Because Brendon is so sweet and darling about it! Ryan feels kind of bad about the whole "no, sorry, sometimes I have to just nurture my own vaguely creepy and hugely inappropriate crush on you, please go on about your life" thing, he really does. But if Brendon is going to unknot his scarves so carefully, fingers deft and warm when they brush against Ryan's throat, then there's not much chance of Ryan keeping himself from being reduced to a few stupid um sounds.

Ryan says, "He's nice. Your -- Shane. He's nice."

Brendon grins. "Not such a dangerous freak now?"

Ryan shrugs and mutters something dark about the need for wariness, but Brendon just laughs.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

You have a frankkincense, it's not fair! Although I am glad she likes this. :D

I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO ADD, I think. Just!! Ryan is reminded of the deep and inexpressible irony of that conventional piece of wisdom about how people always hook up at weddings, only he doesn't want to just hook up, but the whole thing is a bit confusing. So when Brendon says, "I'm going to get some water," he grabs at Brendon's wrist and says, "Stay" even though this is a stupid thing to do and he doesn't even know where he was going with that, but he's sick, so there. So he doesn't need to make sense.

Brendon stays and he sits on the sofa beside Ryan, and his body heat is making the place even warmer but it's kind of comfortable.

Meanwhile, I'm getting a sort of split-screen scenario in my head where Spencer and Jon are having a dudebro smoking session where half the time they're talking about the weird shit you talk about when you're high and the other half they're going, "So what are they doing now, do you think?" "Urhhh.... eating wedding cake. Ryan's glaring at Shane," and what do you know, they're kind of spot on.

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

I am somewhat jealous of myself, I confess. Life is cool!

STAY, OH. ♥__♥ Brendon totally bops on the spot and waggles his eyebrows and says something like, "what, are you going to make it worth my while?" but then Ryan flushes red and looks down, and Brendon is like, oh. OH.

So (I apologise, this is getting ridiculously indulgent) he puts his plate carefully down and takes the flowers out of Ryan's hands and lays them on the table, too, and he says, "People dance at weddings."

Ryan says, "I don't."

"You haven't," Brendon corrects, and then he takes Ryan's hand and leads him out and Ryan thinks, well, just this once.

Also, ahahaha, Spencer and Jon! They say it with the kind of long-suffering, world-weary (where "world" = "Ryan Ross") air, and life is good.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Any right-minded person would be, siiiiiiiigh.

I LIKE THIS A LOT. Oh man Ryan "My Chemical Romance makes me dance" Ross dancing! At a wedding! At first he's all awkward and shuffly and "I CAN'T REALLY DANCE :|" but Brendon's the sort of dancing partner you can't help but loosen up to, mostly because he's ridiculous and makes stupid faces at you and twitches his hips a lot, which is ridiculous, Ryan shouldn't be catching his breath at all, and before he quite knows it he's dancing too and having a lot of fun.

And he can't help it, but the flowers smell nice but he's got a pollen allergy (what he does) and so when the slow dances start he buries his nose in Brendon's ear, a little. Brendon smells like... a dude who's been dancing outdoors in the summer, and he does sweat a lot, but Ryan doesn't say a word, doesn't lift his head at all. Brendon's hands meet and clasp at the base of Ryan's spine.

[kyasuriin.livejournal.com]

*flails about* this is what I needed first thing in the morning. I didn't even KNOW I needed this but I definitely did *beams*

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm glad you liked this! softlyforgotten is a GENIUS, that is why. *beams back at you*

Now it's night here. Sometimes, the world doesn't make sense.

[kyasuriin.livejournal.com]

GENIUS!

That is strange. You're upside down *waves towards the carpet*

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

*hangs from your ceiling upside down*

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

I AM COOING AT THE SCREEN.

It would be kind of quiet between them for a while, then, even after the music breaks for long enough that it's too awkward to hang around waiting, and enough people are taking off for Brendon to wander over and say bye to Shane and Regan and then they're driving home, still in silence. Brendon's still smiling.

Ryan walks Brendon up to his door and then says, "So I'll see you later," but Brendon just rolls his eyes and tugs Ryan inside. He fixes Ryan a coffee and chats kind of normally about some dude he was talking to just after the service who apparently went to Brendon's high school and was, like, one of the few people Brendon actually liked, so that was pretty cool, and then just as Ryan's feeling really weird and unsure what's going on, Brendon cocks his head and regards Ryan kind of quizzically for a moment.

"You surprise me sometimes, dude," he says, and then he leans in and kisses Ryan very sweet and very soft, and his mouth is warm and tastes like champagne.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

HI I AM GOING TO SLEEP BUT JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. Yesssss. ♥

Ryan can't stop flailing about his head about yes finally, I'm kissing Brendon! I'm! until Brendon draws back and he realises he'd been just, uh. Sitting there without kissing back, much, and even though he hadn't pushed Brendon back away Brendon's looking at him from under his lashes, half-coquettish and half-insecure, twisting his tie in his fingers.

Ryan reaches up and says, "Let me -" and Brendon moves back as though he doesn't quite get it, but his eyes grow wide when Ryan's hands are reaching for his tie and he'd meant to fix it, crooked from the wedding, fix it or take it off, but instead he finds himself pulling Brendon to him with the tie and kissing him again.

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

I APOLOGISE, I CANNOT COME UP WITH A MORE PERFECT ENDING. Pulling him by the tie, oh my God. ♥___♥

[lydiatomorrow.livejournal.com]

*snort*

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

*coughs back at you shyly*

[momebie.livejournal.com]

How'd you like it, baby? Hahahaha. I'm always a fan of boys being awkward an oblivious.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

There is no other way I would find them quite as compelling! Boooooys. Now I just keep getting stuck on the mental image of them at Shane & Regan's wedding (*points upthread*) because I have a secret desire for a That Green Gentleman AU where they do approximately nothing but wear ridiculous outfits and frolic in the sun together. /self-indulgent

[kyasuriin.livejournal.com]

hahahaha, YES. Love. I can totally see Ryan being like this. he only pays attention to reality if it's the one he wants.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

He's tried his best to ignore it! Spencer & Jon hadn't seen anything wrong with it despite his very deep misgivings, but now OH NO THEY ARE GOING TO MEET UP and this whole thing is going to explode in their faces, Ryan knows it. Shane might be (probably is, because it's the Internet) a sexual predator.And they're going to meet.

... Ryan feels vaguely guilty for feeling more sulky than worried, then decides he's probably repressing his feelings.

[kyasuriin.livejournal.com]

hahah, yes. It's almost like he really wants to be able to say, 'I told you so!' but he doesn't want Brendon to actually get hurt so it's INNER CONFLICT. (Which admittedly, Ryan has a lot of experience with like when Brendon is sweaty and gross and Ryan shouldn't want him at all but he just... does).

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly. RYAN IS CONFLICTED, OKAY. This is because he is an extremely complex and inscrutable being. He's never managed to figure himself out despite twenty or so years of navel-gazing self-awareness.

[redsnake05.livejournal.com]

How gorgeous! Please tell me that Jon and Spencer, in this universe, meet on an internet dating site but don't tell Ryan about it and he finds out years later that they didn't just meet by accident in that cafe by the campus.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL BEST.

When he finds out, of course, Ryan takes it as the personal insult it'd so clearly been intended to be.

[ashlein.livejournal.com]

You should write that. Then I won't have to write mine :D? :D?

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

THAT ISN'T REALLY GIVING ME MUCH INCENTIVE TO WRITE IT, YOU KNOW.

[ashlein.livejournal.com]

but if you do it, then I can...idk do something that isn't writing it! :D?

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

THE WHOLE POINT IS MAKING YOU WRITE IT, DOOFUS. <3

[strange-bt-true.livejournal.com]

BUT THEN I WILL BE SAD. YOURS IS A SOURCE OF GREAT JOY. FAILY INTERNET LOVE, LEE. IT'S FAILY INTERNET LOVE, YOU CAN'T JUST LET IT DIE. *pouts*

[ashlein.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Talk me in to it why don't you?

♥♥♥

[strange-bt-true.livejournal.com]

I AM AN ENABLER, AND I DON'T CARE. See: my lack of shame.

It is glorious and adorable and they are in loooooove. And there are pictures and phonecalls and boxes of stuff! :D

[strange-bt-true.livejournal.com]

:DDDDD IT IS EVEN BETTER THE SECOND TIME.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

WEDDINGS

WEDDINGSSSSSSSSSS

oh man I'm just grinning dorkily to myself now

[strange-bt-true.livejournal.com]

THERE WOULD BE SLOW DANCING. :DDDDDD

AND FLOWERS AND CHAMPAGNE AND YOU CAN'T BLAME A BRO FOR FEELING ROMANTIC TOWARDS ANOTHER BRO. JUST TWO BROS, MAKING OUT AT A WEDDING. NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

Hearts! In my eyes! :D

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

IKR. I kind of want it exissssssssst.

Also, when Ryan Ross flails around he looks like a windmill. With bonus decorative scarves.

[apples]

I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

SEE UPTHREAD FOR DETAILS. softlyforgotten is a GENIUS. *beams*

[do-come-in.livejournal.com]

Oh man. I love you so much sometimes. Please write this after your exams.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Dude, oh man. Thank you! ♥

No promises, but I'll surely try. :D

[do-come-in.livejournal.com]

You should. That and the four boys in love on a beach. Oh yes, I know about that one... I may/may not be considering doing the four boys in a rock band one.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

CREEPER. ♥

Dude, do it! I quite personally would like to see each and every one of them get turned into an actual AU, you know? It would be amazing. (SIXTIES BRITPOP AU WANT WANT WANT.)

[do-come-in.livejournal.com]

I know. With the drugs and Vicky T and Ryland kind of falling for each other in this drug enduced stupor and no-one really knowing what's going on, but there's a lot of pretty clothes and Gabe is in his element.

Also: Um... Rockstars AU.

So, there's Brendon being like scared, except then Zack's like, shouldn't you be warming up and he's like hells yeah, I'm a musician biatches. And then there's Ryan and Spencer looking at each other and hugging because they totally live across the country from each other and never see each other and if nothing else good comes of this strange place with hot boys, one of which is singing, then being together is good enough. And Jon's kind of high, so thinks he fell asleep and this is a totally legitimate, although very realistic, stoned dream. And they're all like, so, hey we're... except Brendon, who decides that they are his band and he needs to give them hugs because he's not on a mission anymore and that's the best thing since.... ever? Then Zack comes back, because he leaves for inappropriate discussions that he thinks they are having, and tells them to get their butts on the stage. Brendon and Jon kind of just go with it, but then there's Ryan and Spencer, who have to be pushed on to the stage by Zack. They have been bundled into instruments and then the lights come up and there are all these screaming girls and then the synths kick in from Nails & Tacks and they just know what they are doing. Like, somehow there subconcious knows what's going on.

More to come...